Recovery

Recovering is never a fun process. It’s been almost two months since I had surgery, which doesn’t seem like a long time, but it feels like a LIFETIME. It’s been a struggle to get back into my practice. I hate when I’ve built some momentum and I’m starting to feel really involved and powerful in my life and body and then I have to take a set back. But again, like I said in my last blog, that’s what happens! I’m sure after another two months I will look back and not really be able to remember the struggles I’ve felt; each time I’ve been sick or had to have surgery, I can’t remember the pain or the rehabilitation process. But for right now, I’m feeling it.

What has been surprising to me is that instead of feeling completely frustrated with myself for not being completely on point (like I do with everything else in my life) I feel good during my training at Strala. I can focus on myself, and say, “OK, there’s no one I need to impress right now, not even you. Just breathe and be here with me.” Yes, these are real conversations that I have with myself. So while I have a journey to my recovery, I’m trying not to stress myself out with too much pressure. I have also found the need to say to myself, “It hasn’t even been two months yet, it hasn’t even been two months yet.” If everyone around me is supportive of my practice, then I should be as well!

MY GOAL FOR THIS MONTH (one of many) is to HOLD MY PLANK FOR A FULL TWO MINUTES!!! Oh yes, it will be done. Tara and Mike could probably have a tea party in their plank positions, passing the pastries and pouring each other tea and having a splendid conversation all while chilling in their planks. To think of it, they could possibly even sleep in their planks. And so one of my missions begins. (Here is where I insert a video of myself trying to hold a plank for two minutes... but not yet!) I know it’s not a lofty goal; it’s a position that I could hold for two minutes before the surgery. So each day of recovery I’m getting a little bit more of my strength back. And for once, I’m satisfied with this knowledge. I’ve been learning at Strala to listen to my body while I practice instead of just pushing and pushing myself. I’m developing a relationship with my compromised body, and it’s never fun to date someone who’s pushy and too demanding.

Two Things You Should Know About Me

Hey guys, I wanted to share some more thoughts on yoga and how it's making me feel. You are about to embark on a magical mystery tour of my thoughts, via my new found ability to use technology. So enjoy, and I'll speak to you soon!! xo

P.S. -This one goes out to Michelle Holmes Silvers!!!!!



And another P.S. -My boyfriend is mad that I didn't just "hold up the shirt; I had to do some girls gone wild $*%#." So, my apologies.

Hello again, welcome to my second post! Sorry for my procrastination. *sigh.* There are so many things I have been wanting to blog about, and when I get around to writing them down, my brain shrinks to the size of a bird’s brain, and I can’t for the life of me know what I had wanted to say.

Soooo today was the first official day of my teacher training at Strala with Tara, Mike, and several excited, lively and bubbly future teachers. It was exhilarating to be surrounded by people brought together by a common thread. Exhilarating… and a little intimidating!

Well here goes today's thoughts... Does it ever feel like you don’t really know who you are? Other people perceive you as something, which is obviously what you put out into the world, but for me, I have no clue as to what exactly I am. Hmmmm. I was thinking about this today as we took turns introducing ourselves during training, and I looked around at the shining faces of all of these ambitious adventurers, and I suddenly realized I have procrastinated myself away. Now, how do I explain that really ridiculous last statement…?

My father gave me some advice when I was seventeen, which always pops into my mind after I have strayed from myself. He told me that whatever I decide and want to do to go after it. While you’re young you just assume that things will fall into place, and that life will accommodate you at all times. After awhile you will realize that it’s been ten years and life didn’t hand you everything on a silver platter. Where did the time go? So whenever I get into a rut and start to lose sight of what matters to me, I think of his words. I go through phases when I start the day with the best of intentions⎯ thinking that I will own the day, become superwoman, and magically have enough energy to accomplish a weeks worth of activities. But then the unexpected will happen. Instead of one load of laundry it turns into five. Or a massive headache hits around noon and there is no way to go on. For others it may be their children needing attention or being called into work for an extra shift, or oh I don’t know, the ceiling caves in on their bathroom and they can’t take a shower. That would suck. Life happens. And things don’t get accomplished. But I don’t want to be that person anymore. Being around such positive people and energy will definitely be helpful in my pursuit of myself!

Procrastination runs deep in my blood, and I hadn’t really found a way to face it head on. Each day is a battle for me to stay focused on what it is that I truly need and want to do, instead of mundane tasks that keep me busy and preoccupied, which in turn shuts off my ‘Jennifer’ juices from flowing, and I forget who I truly am. In the studio today there was a moment when I was laying in savasana with my eyelids heavy, listening to the silent sound of my own inhale and exhale, and I was truly focused on myself. Not on the bills I have to pay and the apartment I have to clean and on the work I need to finish. While being in the studio with the soft light and slight hum and breeze of fans I became immersed in myself. And that’s what yoga can be for people: A way to own your mind, your body, and your presence in the world. When you lose sight of yourself, a deep breath and calming position can let you gain control of what is yours. And all of this thinking and self examination came from one single breath. Imagine what an entire class can do for you :)